mind bottlings

Feed me and tell me I'm pretty.   Putting the sweet back into my smile, one good memory at a time.

Remembering is a temperamental thing.

Remembering can bring happiness. It can find its quiet way from the hidden corners of the back of your mind to sunbathe in the warmth of your consciousness and pour itself through the little cracks in your heart and fill it fill it fill it so you don’t feel quite as lonely or afraid or sad and so well

Remembering can feel good.

But… it can also hurt.

At times — only sometimes, but at important times — Remembering can force its dreadful self to the surface of your mind. And every heavy-handed grasp it takes while crawling up through the hollow emptiness of your gut sinks itself into your Memory and so you remember that scratchingscrapingclawing feeling until you die and so

and so you’re afraid of it. And you want to avoid its Bad Side so badly — you want it to leave you alone so badly — that you lock it away tight and swallow the key deep down in the pit of your stomach and pretend you can’t feel it anymore but

but you can. And Remembering is a heavy thing and it weighs on your consciousness and it knocks every so often on the tender-sore part of the inside of your chest to remind you that it’s still there.

And it’s still there.

— 1 year ago with 20 notes
#8 months yesterday  #Rest in peace. 
  1. hoppingfrenchfry reblogged this from squiggy
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  4. felix-felis said: This is beautiful!
  5. 32st said: Every single day, I still think of all of those I’ve lost. It’s not easy to live with. The more I try to not think about them, the more they claw to the surface. If you need to talk, I’m here.
  6. squiggy posted this